hplessdreamer

Hey Everyone!!
My roomate Matt and I are desperately looking for another person to live in our duplex with us for next year. Matt and I have lived here the past year and want to stay here, but our third roomate is moving out. It's a duplex located at 280 Gunson - at the corner of Gunson and Ann. It's close to campus and a great place to live! We're suppose to sign the contract by the end of the week or we could lose the house - if anyone is interested please respond to this or call me or im me or anthing!! Greatly appreciated!!

how wonderful it is to be home again, spending time with the family

i am thankful for parents
i am thankful for siblings
i am thankful for extended family
i am thankful for dogs, and simba
i am thankful for lake michigan
i am thankful for my health, and that of my loved ones
i am thankful for everything home offers me

Thanksgiving could not have gone better - it started this morning. It was a beautiful day, clear skies, sun shining, calm lake. Mom, dad, Tj and I started the day off right by heading out on the lake in canoe and kayak. We paddled around for awhile, enjoying conversation and the warmth the sun gave us on our faces. The water was so clear I was tempted to dive in, but somehow was able to restrain myself. After paddling in, we had a quick lunch and then Tj and I got ready and headed out to the barn. There were many dogs and kitties out there to pet and play with as we readied Dante for our trail ride. Off we went into the woods, enjoying the sounds and smells of nature as we ducked under trees and made our way around fallen trees. The sound of the river that ran along side of the trail was extremely calming, and I welcomed the break from man-made noises. We returned from the trail ride and headed home, where my sister and I got into conversation about political issues, and I sure am proud of her ;)Quick showers before dinner and I did my part of finishing up the food by making the mashed potatoes. We all sat down, attempted to say grace before eating but there was an incident with Holly and I and kiss cookies fresh from the oven....oops. Dinner was lively, and extremely filling. Dessert time....well...whipped creme never seems to end up where it is suppose to, and I did a pretty good job at aiming, I really didn't mean to get it in Holly's eye. Father started a fire in the fireplace and everyone made their way to the kitchen where we sat down for some intense rounds of cards. By the end, we were playing drinking games with wine and were all in high spirits. Conversation lingered as people started to say their good-byes and head their seperate ways.

I am thankful for today.
I am thankful for everything I have.
I am thankful for the many opportunities I have been given.
I am thankful that I am looking forward to tommorow.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful thanksgiving and was able to find things they were thankful about.

Current Location: my couch
Current Mood: content
Current Music: the sound of my dog sleeping

so it's been a little while, kinda sorta keep forgettin that this thing exists and that there might be people that still pretned to use it a little bit....ok, the main reason i'm posting something is because it's 2 in the mornin and i'm at the library and am so sick of studying/writing papers that i'm considering jumping thru the window right in front of me...

so...single once again, mise well get that outta the way....eh, it's life right?

almost thanksgiving!! can't wait to go home and see my family and play with my puppy! I'm hopin for snow...but i s'pose if it decides it needs to be kinda nice i'll go for some walks and enjoy that...definetely need the break from school, 17 credits plus working and volunteering and trying to maintain a social life is definetely taking its toll on me...plus u throw in the whole not really sleeping often thing...and yea, i'm a lil wired at this point...but i think going home is just what i need to relax and prepare myself for the last cupla weeks before the end of the semester and wonderful christmas break...

had an amazing convo with kremke tonight...not really sure how it even really started to be honest, but it definetely developed into an over an hour conversation that left me thinking that i could write an at least 20 page thesis on life - basically we were discussing how important life expereinces are, and how without them, it's hard to truly connect with people and be able to understand where they are coming from....i mean we went much deeper and more in depth, but you get the idea...

aight, back to papers and studying...woot woot...hope everyone has happy holidays! ;) maybe i'll try not to be such a fair-weather lj poster in the future, not that anyone really reads these anyways, they are obviously more of a distraction tactic for myself, or a way to document events for my own benefits

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Artistic License - The Starting Line

so school has started once again...

off to a busy busy busy busy busy year....things have been so crazy since i came back down to good ole east lansing

was homeless for a few days while my house was getting moved out of, so stayed at a couch at a friends....but hey...it was well with it, b/c i happened to meet my current boyfriend zachary b/c of it ;) we met at a lil shin dig at the house i was stayin at and just kinda hit it off...he's great, u should all be happy/proud...

work has been insane...orintation, then welcome week working at like 6 and 7 in the morning while trying to have a life and party since i am living in a duplex off campuse now was really interesting and i don't think i'm completely caught up from that yet...

classes have started, not rly sure what to think yet b/c the first week is just formalities anyways...looking forward to thursday after my one class when i'll be able to relax for a bit...

and i'm getting a furry visitor tmr and i'm pumped!! it's not my puppy, but i'm happy to have a four-legged friend around for a lil bit just the same! ;)

life is good...lil overwhelming and stressful at times...but overall it is good and i think this year is off to a great start...we'll see how the year unfolds...

p.s - bought tickets to a brand new concert at the end of october...extrememly excited!!

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: bend and not break - dashboard

i give up...

if there's nothing left that i can do to make you understand....and if u're going to be so stubborn and think you know exactly how i feel, then i just give up...i can't take all this again...

It’s like love
Some people get it
For some it’s just a glove that just never fitted
For me it’s just a pain in the ass
But I’m addicted to the taste
And hoping it will last

Just think of this and me as just a few of the many things,
To lie around,
To clutter up your shelves.

Now I could make this obvious, and you,
You could deny me all in one breath,
You could shrug me off your shoulders.

story of my life...

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: your own disaster - tbs

well there it is, back in the wonderful u.p for the summer....waiting to see what escadrama has to offer me for these next few months....haha*

only been back a few days so i'm not quite back into the swing of things....but...so far...so good....i think....

rents left for a few days to go downstate for the bro and sister in-laws graduation ceremonies (am i a bad person for not going?) and i chilled and took care of the house and the dogs.... ;)

gotta find a job....

enjoy the water and everything the u.p has to offer, especially since i dunno when i'll be spending another lengthy time up here after this summer....

crossing my fingers for not too much drama this summer with everything...

looking forward to seeing danny (it's been 6 months....wow...) and jamie and eric and hang out more with cor and vitek and everybody else back home...the fam of course...

sooo....get in touch, make plans, concert, road trips....we're only young once right? pretty soon its real life and real jobs and families and bills and all that stuff...oh man...

Current Location: my house
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: matchbox twenty - i want something else

ok, so i know i just updated but this is BIG BREAKING NEWS!!!!

i got my letter from the school of social work like 10 minutes ago - and i've been ACCEPTED!!!!!!!! wahoo!!!! i'm headed in the direction i want to be for my future!! wish me luck!!!!

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: journey - don't stop believing

so spring break was enjoyable - i just went home and hung out with family and friends...

i hung out with justin a lot, guy from my past who i have started to talk to quite a bit...he got into a little bit of trouble before i came home so he was kinda confined to his house so we just hung out and watched movies a lot, which is cool with me b/c it was really relaxing

didn't get to see jamesta much b/c she was involved in the musical Oliver - went and saw it Friday with the family and it was a good time...i miss her tho...

didn't get to see the a lot of people that i usually hang out while i was home...b/c shit was complicated and ppl were lazy or w/e...idk, oh well...i guess people change and all that...

hung out with the sis some, i love that girl, she's turning out to be a great girl..but growing up so quickly!!

went on lots of walks with the family, or just my dad and it was great to be back in the u.p and with my dogs and all the great scenery, it really is a beautiful place! ;)

then it was back to state - i got to bring the blazer back so that's awesome!! driving the whole way back by myself...not so fun...but i followed gary and bill so it wasn't horrible..and gary drove for me a little bit at the end b/c my contacts were all screwed up...

it's been kinda hard to get back into the routine of things, classes, work..blah...i mean my week home was awesome..but so short...and its just hard being back...oh well, not much longer until we're done for the summer...altho i don't kno for sure what i'm doing this summer...trying to hopefully get a job at a summer camp...

on a sad note - mike is leaving state next year to go to bowling green for the music program...it is his passion...but he will be greatly missed...

Current Mood: meh
Current Music: sex and the city in the background

pretty true i think....

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: dashboard confessional - bend and not break

so once again someone i care about got in legal trouble and ended up in jail.....people gotta learn that it's just not worth it to drink and drive dammit!! just don't do it....

he's ok, he's out and dealing with his punishment...noone was hurt...but they could have been...

on a better note - things with my 'possibility' guy are going well....just tryin ta take it slow one step at a time....

gossip sucks, people shouldn't talk bad things about eachother behind their backs, its not nice and it just causes...DRAMA...and we don't need none of that shit...

3 midterms and a paper this week...then i get to head home!! yes!! and mother went ice fishing and caught me a fresh fish so i get to have my usual birthday dinner! yes! ;)

yea for more visitors from home - last night was a ton of fun - hope u all enjoyed ur time down here and hopefully i'll see ya and hang out with ya'll back home in a week!! ;)

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: armageddon is on the tv

biology is silly, but if u want i can find out ur pedigree for you...and maybe do some punnett squares? haha* bio lab is actually kinda fun, its not too hard and its actually kinda interesting...besides the fact that it's way to early in the morning....

work...ouch..8 shifts in the past week, including one that ended up being 10 1/2 hour shift...maybe i won't completely save all of this paycheck and i'll actually spend some of it on myself...we'll see

spring break soon - whoop whoop! my previous plans have changed and i AM coming home for the week so get in touch and we can hang out! i'm really excited to come home and see the family and my dog and all my friends that i haven't seen in forever, i need a break from this place and school - prolly gonna relax and watch a lot of movies, maybe go skiing...

not to jynx it, but there's a possibility of a new guy in my life...hmm..just tryin to take it slow and see what happens...

i love the movie RENT with a passion, a friend burned it for me yesterday and its just glorious...i want to live my life like that...

yay for random visitors that show up at state - i love it! i never get visitors so feel free to take a stop by anytime! my roomate goes home practically every weekend so there is room here for people to stay!

i like chocolate ice cream...yummmmmy

drunk people are silly...where is the correalation between being drunk and being on the phone? i dont get it...but the conversations are silly and entertaining...

i'm hungry and tired...

i think my body forgot what a regular sleep cycle is, i don't think i've gone to bed before 3 in the mornin in the past month, if not longer...my theory is that ur body just gets use to it and adjusts so it doesn't really need sleep anymore...but i think i'm actually prolly just gradually becoming mentally insane...hmmm...make room for me in the rubber room!!

ok, reading about a murder that happened up in the u.p - it's for class...then off to hit the sheets! ;)

Current Mood: silly
Current Music: no day but today - rent

hey you all, here's what u should do for me - give me a memory u have of me, anything at all, good, bad, funny, sad, etc, w/e comes to mind when u think of me! ;)

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: best thing you never had - butch walker

haha* i got into a great conversation with a friend the other night about life and growing up...

we both agree on the whole recess thing and hopscotch and w/e else from my last msg...

and how about 'night games'? do any of u all remember that? like sardines...where one person hides..then everyone tries to find them and sneak in with them, the last one that does is it for the next game? or how about bloody murder??

or for the older kids...how about cartag?? hiding in the cemetary, or behind grandma's pasties? haha* those were the days...

how about pogs?? how about playing mash?? how about passing notes back in forth in class? making them so intricite they would look like flowers....giga pets? or how about that paper thing u would fold up and put on ur fingers with number and then inside each fold was something new?? u know what i'm talking about and u kno u miss it!!!!!!!

so let's start that up again, what do u say??

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: martina mcbride - happy girl

so i kno in one of my previous entries i was talking a lot about how much this world sucks - to be blunt and everything...and how bad people can be to eachother...which is all true and we all know it, it's great to be happy and optimistic about things, but you have to be realistic or else u're just being ignorant and naive and either haven't experienced enough of life, or just haven't accepted it...

but anywho...i think i know what will help fix everything

we need to play

i mean it makes sense, right? things were easy and for the most part we were happy kids in elementary school....so what's missing?? playtime - that's right, i think recess can save the world

go to school, learn some math 23+12=35, learn some reading - see spot run, spot runs fast, then...RECESS - we all looked forward to it, even the teachers....a much needed break for all, to get a chance to get some fresh air and interract with friends without having the pressures of society

and when i'm talkin about recess, i'm talkin about the old school recess, with the old equipment on it - u guys know what i'm talking about - especially ford river - we had a ton of kick ass things to play on there - all the tire things?? the A-Frame tire thingy (remember a wedding perhaps em?? haha*), the tire maze (infamous spot of truth and dare), the swings, slides, balance beams, uneven bars (learned how to do a penny drop from those!!), that one thing that had the rings and monkey bars all in one...baseball field, the hill where we would play kickball, football, etc...behind the hill where the older kids would gather, and perhaps sneak off into the woods sometimes...merry-go-round (is that what it's called?)

yes, we need to reimplement recess, for everyone - just make bigger toys and jungle gyms, make people take a break from their busy routine of a life to just relax, remember the kid inside them (it's still there somewhere!!) u just gotta let it out, let it remind you of the simple things in life...tag, red rover, double dutch jump rope, hopscotch, four squares, dodgeball, flag football and so many other made up games when we had no worries or fears about letting our imaginations go....

companies everywhere are looking for people who have new ideas, who think of things differently, what better way then to let ur employees spead some time outside with their imaginations??

that's right, if i were president, i'd implement recess for everyone, instead of creating more parking lots or freeways - there would be more playground/parks - made for people of all ages and sizes

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces

my life = shit

it never stops...no matter how i try to run away from it, hide from it, shelter myself from it, it finds a way to me...i can't go like two days without something happening, some ridiculous drama that makes me want to cry and scream and break things all at the same time....

so many things have happened that have made me question things that i once thought i had strong belief in...and i'm so utterly disgusted at people as a whole..the things they (we) do to eachother, how we treat one another is so completley ridiculous...every day, there's another story about someone getting cheated on, another story about friends betraying eachother and not being there when they are needed most....

add to that the stories of the world - murders and rapes and so many things that i can't stop thinking about...things that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with humanity and our soceity that we can keep treating eachother like this...

and yet this is something i want to get myself into as a career? i just don't know if i can do it...i get so frustrated and disgusted at the things that go on...

i've lost so much respect for people...and people's words mean next to nothing to me now, and i hate that...

who remembers when i was the most optimistic person around? there was a time, i promise, when i was so bubbly and happy it was practically annoying...

and now? idk wat the hell happened...but i can't trust ppl, i get paranoid, i expect the worse from ppl, and for some reason...that's usually what i get...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what we learned here is love tastes bitter when it's gone
past yourself forget the light, things look dirty when it's on
funny how it comes to pass that all the good slips away
and there's no one around you can remember being good to
you
-Lyrics from the Matchbox 20 song Shame

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: Goodbye Love - Rent